Friday, June 17, 2011

Narcissists will suck you dry

NOVEMBER 30, 2008

The Love of A Narcissist is Like a Desert Oasis

I once asked one of my closest friends why she thought I fell in love with my ex so easily. She said that since I had been in a loveless marriage for so long that meeting someone like him was like finding an oasis in the desert. I had no idea how appropriate that metaphor actually was.

Narcissists are incapable of authentic or deep feelings for anyone. Like the desert Narcissists are vast, empty and dry inside. Like a desert oasis Narcissistic Love is a mirage, a shallow illusion, a mere reflection. It leaves you hopeful, but even more desperate and thirsty for the real thing.

The metaphor can be taken even one step further. The closest thing a Narcissist can feel to love is when he is receiving narcissistic supply in full potency. This feeling is very intense for him and what he gives in response to it feels very real to his lover (or child). However, just as real water in the desert is almost always poisonous to the body narcissistic love is just as deadly to the soul.

Narcissists are predators. They prey on any kind of vulnerability. If they suspect you’re a desert wanderer in need of a long, cool drink they will present the most glorious oasis for your pleasure.

But beware, once you find yourself in the middle of the reflective pool, marveling at all its beauty (and it is beautiful!) your Narcissist will give you a taste of the real stuff from the rancid desert puddle inside him.

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